Learn How Dating Works.

Everybody does it (masturbates) even though they won’t admit to doing it. We learn when very young that masturbation is very enjoyable and it is not uncommon for a young boy to masturbate several times a day….it all depends on his sex drive.

The young male’s thoughts are constantly on sex and it doesn’t matter if he is heterosexual or homosexual, if he doesn’t get with a sex partner, he will relieve the sexual tension by masturbating. They (elders) used to try to scare the young from this sort of thing by telling them that they would go blind or insane. The answer usually given back was “ I will just do it until I need glasses”. Although it is better to plant your “seed” in the belly of a whore than to spill it on the ground, we all know that enough semen has been spilt on the ground to plant teeming populations on several worlds. All of this talk about abstinence is just a lot of crap! When a male has a “throbbing hard-on”, if he doesn’t have a partner to copulate with…he will seek a secluded place away from prying eyes and work the shaft up and down until he has reached “lift-off”. He may fantasize about any different number of partners…same sex or not depending on his sexual leanings. The female is no different in this matter than the male although she probably isn’t as sexually driven. She masturbates by stimulation of the clitoris, that part of the vagina that looks like a small penis.

Now I put the question to you…Is it better to masturbate than to have an abortion; my answer is that it is a matter of common sense. Life is precious, all life is precious….no matter the color of one’s skin. It looks as though we forget that when we see all of the killing and bloodshed going around the world.

The internet has surely revolutionized the way that people do business… and dating via the internet has opened up a whole new avenue of finding love. Although it has provided a revolution in the dating scene, you need to go into such a relationship with both eyes open though… to be sure, because just using type only there is plenty of room for mischief and dishonesty. People may misrepresent themselves in many ways… as to sex, age, or financial situation….basically it let you say whatever you want without regard to whether it is true or not. If your game is to just “shoot the bull” and you never intend to meet… that might not create a problem, but if you do become involved then that would pose a problem. Here of late the law enforcement people have gotten into monitoring the dating web-sites due to pedophiles preying on young children (those younger than 18). Sometimes they will pose as a young person to lure in an unsuspecting adult who is looking for sex.

The internet is just like anything else…. It can be used for good or it can be used for ill. What adults do (consenting adults) shouldn’t be of any concern of anybody except for the people involved. Having said that the internet is a great place to meet and get to know a lot of different people all over the world. It (the internet) gives you a certain sense of invisibility and quiets some of the qualms of meeting face to face; it therefore removes some inhibitions and nervousness.

Just be aware of the pitfalls when you are online flirting and as always with anything… you need to use common sense.

It all starts out normal enough, boy meets girl and they fall in love, but for whatever reason, whether it is something that you have done or something that she has done, her family will usually take her side against you and more often than not it escalates into something much worse than just hateful words. Whether the disagreements involves money, children, or where the couple choose to live, the more that the parents or siblings of either side get involved, the less likely that the couple will work their problems out to a satisfactory conclusion as far as their relationship is concerned. I have been there and done that and I can tell you with all sincerity, that I wouldn’t go through that kind of hell again for all of the sex in the world. I learned my lesson well so there wasn’t any second time around. I can see her family getting involved IF you, the man, are abusing her, verbally or physically, but to blindly accept her word as to the facts of the matter only harms the relationship between the couple.

The world is a mess and seems to be getting worse, so I guess that it is just a reflection of what is happening down on the personal level. We can’t get along with each other; it is either our way or the highway! Life can be lonely when you are single, but when I think of how it was when I wasn’t, I realize that that is a small price to pay!

Trust is a two-way street and to gain trust you first must give it, a little at a time at first without giving the appearance of not trusting. It is a fool who will “willy-nilly” accept just anybody’s word or confidence; it lays you open for heartache or at the very least, a lot of anger if your trust is betrayed. You have to reach a middle ground between trust and doubt, at least until trustworthiness has been established. That is not to say that you shouldn’t be looking at life through “rose colored lenses”; there are all kinds of little signs that should make you suspicious that all isn’t what it is supposed to be.

To have any meaningful relationship, there must be a sense of trust on both sides. It is just one part of the equation of a successful relationship.

She is charming and vivacious, really an all around beautiful girl, but you feel like she is too high society to notice you? You will never know unless you take it upon yourself to make her take notice of you. You may assume anything, but that doesn’t necessarily make it so. You can secretly want something, but if you don’t actively go after it in some fashion, you probably will never get it. Most of us have to work hard to get what we want and sometimes, even then it doesn’t happen, but there is a greater chance of success if you have a strategy to accomplish your goal no matter what that goal may be.

Life is full of challenges, we either meet them head on and do the best that we can or we “cop out” and say that it is no use wasting our time because we can’t do it. No person should ever feel unworthy of another or superior to another either; we are all God’s children.

Let her know what are in your heart, your feelings and you may be pleasantly surprised that she is a kindred spirit. Anything worth having is worth working for; so put your best effort into it and you will accomplish your goal.

There comes a time in many relationships when the “zing” has gone out of the relationship and one or the other party wants to move on to greener pastures. So what do you do? Hopefully, you will part as friends and not enemies; the party that perceives itself as the injured party will usually be emotionally hurt, if in fact they really cared for the other person. However, it is best that they let go, if the other person has placed his affections elsewhere you are just belittling yourself. Love can be wonderful and it can also be devastating, it just depends on from what perspective you are viewing it.

It is ok to feel sad, angry, and hurt if you are on the receiving end of a break-up, but don’t let it ruin your life. Some people can’t stand rejection and will do a lot of crazy things (some of them illegal) to stay connected to the other person. I would like to think that if something like that happened to me, that I would be independent enough to go my own way and make a life for myself without all of the depression and emotional distress that goes with a rupture in a relationship, but human nature being what it is, affects people in different ways; some become aggressive or combative, while others become sullen and withdrawn. But we are like the moth drawn to the light, we are always searching for companionship and like it or not, not all are suited to each other!

Do conduct yourself with dignity though and not let the situation make you make an ass out of yourself.

Everybody is looking for something, whether it is love, fortune, or fame. I think that the majority of women are looking for love, first and foremost; they like to be romanced, wined and dined, before they commit to sex or at least that was the way that I was brought up to believe. They are looking for excitement and partners who are exciting and interesting. They are looking for a partner who can provide a stable environment in which to raise a family. Sure, some are looking for a rich man, but chances of that happening happens very seldom. Most people, men or women, are looking for a kindred spirit for a partner; someone who shares their beliefs and aspirations in life. Marriage for money without love is usually a disaster as is a sudden infusion of money into a family from a source such as a lottery; it can tear a family apart.

As one who has been on the receiving end of what a woman wants, I have come to the conclusion that sometime when they get what they thought that they wanted, they change their minds. A lot of the time, they will listen to her parents, siblings, or other kin people who maybe don’t like you to start with and will jump at the chance to become involved in a couple’s marriage and that doesn’t help the situation at all. I realize that not all women are like that, but I personally know one and that is why I as a divorced man say “A lot of the time, I don’t know what in hell she wants”.

So you want to get back into the game; that is assuming that you were out of it in the first place and that that isn’t the reason for the divorce. I know, there are always two sides to the story, but divorces cost money and there can be emotional scaring, so go slow and try not to make the same mistake again. Tell your date about your previous marriage, but don’t dwell on it too much, but be totally honest if you want anything to come of it. Usually, a divorced person, brings a lot of “baggage” with them (don’t get me wrong; I don’t mean that children are baggage, but it depends on how your date sees that). If the other party got custody of the children, then there is the matter of child-support and probably alimony for the wife, if you are the husband. Children should come first; you brought them into the world and you have a moral obligation to love and protect them first and foremost; however, that doesn’t preclude you from finding your own emotional and sexual needs.

The divorce process causes great emotional distress to both parties and if there are children involved, it just makes it that much harder. Everybody deals with marriage failure in their own way; some “swear off” forming an emotional attachment to another person again, while some will go through marriage after marriage and think nothing of it. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with remaining “single”; there are lots of single people living together and functioning the same as a married couple without all of the legal entanglements of marriage. So, I would say, if you are contemplating marriage, go slow and be very careful because it is very easy to get in over your head and be back in the same shape as you were. Once burned, twice as shy!

I understand that you are interested in a woman that already has children. There is nothing wrong with that; however there are potential hazards and pitfalls associated with dating a ready made family. If the child or children were close to their father and their parents divorced, then more than likely they will resent another taking their father’s place. It would be more prudent for the feller to not force himself on the children, but to try to become their pal; explain to them that he isn’t taking their father’s place, that nobody could do that.

Usually it is the older child who has the problem with his mother dating another man; however with patience and understanding, the child will come around to accepting his mother’s choice. If, on the other hand, you come off to the child as being bossy and mean, then they will never accept you, and their mother will usually take her child’s side, so that isn’t the way to go.

But, if, on the other hand, the children’s father is deceased, then I think that they would be more receptive to a new father figure. Go slow and let them get to know you, become their grownup pal, be interested in them and don’t talk down to them. They will warm up to you; remember if you are dating their mother, you are dating the whole family. Just be sure that you are sure that you are capable of taking on the responsibilities of a ready made family. If you are the type of person who likes children, then I think that dating a woman who already has children would be a very rewarding experience.

Your first impression is usually right, but like everything in life there are exceptions; the person in question may be having an “off” day or be under some other kind of stress. ‘Tis better to evaluate the situation with an open mind rather than a rush to judgment. Of course, if you are the object of the first bad impression, then you would hope that the other party would accept your apology and understand where you were coming from, that is if you truly wanted them to like you.

Their first impression of you may have been formed before they ever met you, formed from information that they have heard from their friends.

The best thing that you can do is to be yourself; by that I mean, being courteous, honest, and with compassion to your fellow travelers on this journey through life.

We all, at one time or other in our life, present our less-than-good side of our personality to others, some more than others, but, basically if you realize that you have “messed up”, then there is probably some hope for you. Call it what you want, Apology, sucking up, or whatever; just do it. Every situation is different and you will have to decide what your course of action will be.